10 Worst Songs Ever

Originally posted: November 4, 2007

Recently I came across Blender magazine's list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever. I found myself agreeing and disagreeing with a lot of their choices. And I also felt that they left out a good amount of songs that I strongly dislike. So I decided to compile a list of my own. Then I realized the difficulty of narrowing it down / ranking the song. Nevertheless, this is what I came up with:

10. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
Okay, so there is no doubt that Celine Dion is a good singer and that this song was fitting for the movie Titanic. However the combination of the pan flutes, Celine Dion's signature singing style, and the fact that it was ridiculously overplayed are all ingredients for giving me a headache. To make things even worse, they released almost 20 different versions of this song (instrumental versions/remixes with extra ocean waves?)

9. The Thong Song – Sisqo
A R&B song dedicated to women who wear thongs. As if that wasn't bad enough...add a talking intro, a reference to "Livin' La Vida Loca", and a verse that repeats three times throughout the song.

8. Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega
Often times one will look at the Billboard Charts of the 1990s and think to oneself, "Why the hell was that song so popular?" I ask myself this question every time I hear this song. This poor attempt at a Mambo sounds more like a list of Lou's dating record.

7. Whomp! (There It Is) – Tag Team
Probably the most annoying of all the "Jock Jams" (Which is really saying a lot). Occasionally it is tolerably to hear at basketball games or other sports related events, but outside of that it is a song that makes no sense whatsoever and is ultimately the reason why Tag Team was a one-hit wonder.

6. We Built This City – Starship
I am going to be honest, 80's rock is one of my guilty pleasure genres. However, this song is a perfect example of why 80's rock is often taken as a joke. The song's ridiculously repetitive chorus and catchy melody is bound to get stuck in your head and make you wish that you never heard it.

5. Mmmbop – Hanson
I have decided that almost song with non-sense words in the chorus is automatically irritating. Just add three prepubescent boys who sound like girls and "play instruments" and you have a hit single.

4. Who Let the Dogs Out? – Baha Men
At one point this song was being played everywhere from pretty much every crappy Disney show / movie to the movie Rat Race. The fact that this song won a Grammy Award in 2000 should bring much hope to all the aspiring musicians out there.

3. Mickey – Toni Basil
Mixing cheerleading with terrible lyrics sung by an annoying singer = the recipe for disaster.

2. Macarena – Los Del Rio
Another terrible musical creation of the 1990s. Who would have thought a song that is entirely in Spanish and accompanied with awful dance moves would be such a big hit? Maybe if the Hokey Pokey was in German or something, it would have dominated the Billboard Charts as well?

1. Barbie Girl – Aqua
Being categorized as "bubblegum pop" automatically makes this song annoying. What can possibly make this song worse? How about writing it as a sexual dialogue between Barbie and Ken dolls and then adding an annoying techno beat? JACKPOT.

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Honorable Mentions
A few songs that I can't stand, but didn't quite make it into the Top 10:

Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65
A techno song with non-sense lyrics. The perfect combination for an annoying song.

Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
Hearing this song makes me picture a bunch of old white people attempting to line dance. Billy Ray sure is lucky he has a daughter with more talent than him (Which isn't really say much).

Switch – Will Smith
The Fresh Prince's poor excuse at a comeback.

Get Your Hands Off My Girl – Good Charlotte
Just when I thought Good Charlotte couldn't get any more annoying...they release this "song".

Bump Bump Bump – B2K
"Baby turn around and let me see that sexy body go Bump Bump Bump"...Need I say more?

Laffy Taffy – D4L
Ruining a delicious candy with a terrible rap song. What else is new?

Every Other Time – LFO
Please tell me this song is supposed to be a joke.

Photograph – Nickelback
I should have just put “every song Nickelback has ever released”

So there you have it folks. My very first Top 10 List. I hope you enjoyed it.